What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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