What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
