when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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