the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
