i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
