i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
