is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
