We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
