Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
