I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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