Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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