32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
