i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
