Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize