we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
