I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
