Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize