Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
