Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
