He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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