I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
