Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
