brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
