kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
