he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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