Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
