at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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