Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
