Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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