woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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