He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
