There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Your penis caused this!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
