but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
