sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
