remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
