thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
