nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
