I don't think brook has ever known best
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
