i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
