Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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