Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
