I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize