I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
