Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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