so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
