Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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