Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
