kristin has been a bad kristin
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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