I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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