Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
