Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
