Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
