I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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