i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
