Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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