he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I believe in your delicious
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
