And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize