therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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