Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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