You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
