Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
