Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
