i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
